Operation Pokies
Robin Marie Shepherd
Women Loving an Addict, New Zealand
: J Addict Behav Ther Rehabil
Abstract
Fuelled by the need to fill the hole; the disconnection from oneself, their internal power and the emotional discord that comes from the individuals conditioning and previous experiences, addiction is rife in the fabric of our society and infiltrating our families like a virus. An extreme addiction, where severe substance abuse is prevalent, creates havoc and destroys families. Often no-one in the family is equipped to deal with the chaos and turmoil and each individual can turn to their own addiction. Whatever has been their conditioning, their beliefs about themselves and their world are only highlighted and triggered by the situation and they can easily retreat to their own addictions. The behaviours and responses they use as a short-term fix to help lessen the pain, emotional distress that; as with any addiction, can have long term negative implications. As the parent, partner, child or sibling of an addict, this often presents as a need to try to ‘fix it’ or take responsibility for the addict and emotions such as guilt, shame, fear and grief can taint the behaviours and thinking on how to best serve the addict, the family and the situation. They get caught up in trying to control the external circumstances, but the power lies in them bringing the focus back to themselves and the internal work they can do. To bring awareness to their own emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing and build their own strength and personal power. From this place, they can make the best decisions, know that love for the addict may need to look differently now and can hold effective and appropriate boundaries. They can create powerful relationships with other family members who may have felt neglected. They can become the person they want to be, the leader they need to be for their family and create a life they love.
Biography
